Something Needs to be Heard

I wrote this a few days ago on my personal Facebook page. I thought I would share it with y'all.

I am tired of having to hide what I feel about life and the world in general. For the past 13+ years, I have had to play a role for everyone that I have come in contact with, for fear that I would piss someone off. Fear quite literally has ruled my life for so long that it has been hard for me to function.

Well not anymore. I am saying this now for all to hear.

If you haven't already read my profile, here it is. I'm a Kemetic witch. I believe in the Egyptian pantheon, and I practice magick. Not the illusions that involve sawing a girl in half, or pulling a rabbit out of a hat.

That being said, what I do DOES NOT involve worshiping Satan, or sacrificing goats. That is crap propagated by those who try to make us out to be evil incarnate. I won't curse you or try to turn you into a toad if you piss me off. I have NEVER been the type to try to hurt you on purpose, as I have ALWAYS felt that was morally wrong. My CHOICE in beliefs DOES NOT affect how I truly feel. I have always been a good person, always been a little weird, always been unconventional, and I have tried to RESPECT everyone else's views, even at the cost of my own not being heard, so don't automatically come out and say "You're a WHAT!? I thought I knew you. Now I'm not sure I can trust you." That kind of crap belittles both you and myself, and if you really know me and love me, as I love you, that shows me that I shouldn't spend energy trying to get you to like me. I also WILL NOT CONVERT anyone. Beliefs should never be shoved down another person's throat. If you want to hear what I have to say, that's cool. If not, that's cool too. And speaking of converting, don't try to say to me "I will pray for your soul." My soul DOES NOT need to be prayed for. That too is belittling. If you want to pray for me, then, by all means, pray for good health and happiness. Any caring person would do that for another. It's not mutually exclusive to one specific religion.

Which brings me to another point. As most of you have seen on my FB page, I am connected to a particularly handsome man (Cranky Mcgrinch, yes I'm talking about you) that you may see I'm engaged to. It isn't just an engagement for us. Last year, a week after my 31st birthday, we did what we call a "hand-casting." For those who don't know what that is, let me preface it by saying that the love of my life is a Heathen, or more appropriately, Asatru. That is a variation of magick (see the pattern here?) that follows the Norse Pantheon (Odin, Thor, Loki, etc.).

Because of that, we knew that if we got married, we couldn't go the typical route. Neither of us has been to church in years, and it's not really our thing. And because of legal issues at the moment, it's just not in the cards yet to make it completely official in muggle standards. However, we have history. We met nearly 11 years ago, and fell head over heels for each other...HARD. We each saw something extremely special in the other. But we both tried to fight it. He was separated from his 2nd wife and I was engaged to someone myself. So we TRIED to be friends. The Fates, bless their hearts, had other ideas. Anyway, most of you have heard this story, so I will skip it. But getting back to what a "hand-casting" is. A "hand-casting" is a rare form of ritual. In front of our Gods, we made vows to each other. While it's not legal by any means, it's still binding by deity. Unfortunately, no one sees that. Just like when you have a couple that lives together in a state that has common law marriages. They are married, even if they aren't legally binded by document. We don't need to justify what we are to those who either don't understand, or choose to disregard us as solid. That, yet again, is belittling and we don't need to spend needless energy on it if it can be helped.

Now I've said my piece. I feel better. But like I said, I am what I am. I'm not going to hide it anymore, I am not going to sugar coat it and I am certainly not going to apologize for what I believe.

But now the ball is in your court. I love you all. And regardless of how YOU feel about MY choices, know that I'm still me, even if I don't share your point of view (Brown 2014).

So now I'm one step further in my journey into the Craft. Thanks for listening.

• Quinn